Although I should be “celebrating” the holiday of love in Florida, I won’t be bitter over that - truth of the matter is - I HATE VALENTINE’S DAY! With that being said being in the Bahamas and then Florida was the icing on the cake, Valentine’s Day was a coincidence. Ah, you may ask - why does one, such as myself, loathe this holiday of love?
I’m sure many will say I don’t believe in love. Well, that’s bullshit. Not the kind of bullshit Chris Brown sings about (which BTW, is PERFECTLY fine by me, LOL!), but February 14th is a bullshit holiday. Every year florists run ads in December and January so millions of poor saps will purchase the cliche dozen roses at inflated prices for delivery on this day. Hallmark makes a killing and if women really thought about it you’d be pissed off that someone is trying to feed your ass some chocolates you don’t need.
As soon as the leftover Christmas decor is marked to 80% off, all the typical spots bring in the candy colored hearts, boxes of Godiva, and let’s not forget the heart shaped peanut butter cups by Reese’s. Hallmark is now draped in red and white, with aisles of sweet nothings on overpriced cardboard - but you care enough to send the very best - wink, wink - so you will be a sucker in that very aisle. Really? The more I write the more pissed off I get at how blinded society is to this.
Let me point out the obvious. For starters, I love Hallmark - wish I owned one, I mean doesn’t Destiny’s Hallmark sound great?!?!? I am an addict with their ornaments, however the rest of the year I could give a rats ass as to what goes on in that store. Valentine’s is a Hallmark holiday. It is the one day a year that “lover’s” are EXPECTED to do something nice. Really? What the fuck is that about? Out of 365 days, just 1? February 14th is unoriginal, and therefore why I don’t like it, also the reason why I despise roses. I mean how much thought does that require? Talk about a slap in the face - aren’t you worth more than the stereotype?
Who hasn’t fallen victim to this holiday - we all have. One year, let it be known I was much younger and therefore stupid, I actually did a scavenger hunt for my “Valentine's" presents. After every hint, there was a gift, then on to the next one. Ok, not bad for I thought outside of the box and get some originality points, but still. Looking back on those trivial high school and college days, I got enough roses to fill a funeral parlor. C’mon, really? The rest of the year a dozen is what $35, and now because “you have to” send something you’re paying $80! Stop the insanity.
You want to make your lover’s day - try to be different. There are 364 days of the year that isn’t Valentine’s day, and starting before 2.14 - would be a great start. How about having a “Love” weekend if you lover is in town and not out drinking with the fellows or having girl’s night out? Ladies that’s what you want, and men if you realize that their is ass at the end of every night - this is a win, win - a no brainer! Then you need to start planning a little better - for that’s the thing, it’s all about planning and filling the “love tank”.
This year V-day is on a Monday - how freaking perfect! Want to send flowers? Do it Friday! She will get them before everyone else and they’ll be talking about what a sweet guy you are, plus fellas they may cost a little less. Also, send HER favorite flower, not the traditional holiday flower - BE ORIGINAL. The more attention to detail, the better and more meaningful. Women, woo your man. It’s basketball season, when’s his team play? Take him to Hooter’s on you, and eat wings all day and drink beer - he will adore you even more and ha, his friends will want to clone you. Do something of his interest. Go by Vicki’s and grab some hot lingerie and play some “No Bullshit” Saturday night or some LSG, Trey Songz, or J. Holiday and do the damn thing. Just because it’s the “love” holiday doesn’t mean men should be catering to women, it’s both ways. As for the card, how about an old school love note? Note - not a text! Yeah we all barely write anymore, but that’s the point. Get pen and paper and start writing, even if it’s “I love you” - that’s your own words, not some English Lit major working for Hallmark. Be original, peek each other’s interests.
The lack of originality and such commercialism of this holiday is exactly why I hate it, and have hated it for some time. You want to impress someone, do this when it’s not a holiday - not due to peer pressure or because it’s February 14th. Send flowers for no reason, buy lingerie for no reason, tell her she’s beautiful for no reason, go out with your man and shoot pool for no reason, let him pick the movie - just be creative.
With that being said, I’ll go back to labeling my daughter’s Valentine’s cards for her party. Now kids...they need the stereotype, I’m just old enough to know better. Wonder if they care if I write “To my friend” instead of their name? It’s so much easier, LOL!
