End of Day 2

         Day 2

         Wake up time: 8:34AM

         Moods: Lull, pissed, calm

         Activity: Walking

         Foods: water, ham, banana, 2 organic free-range eggs, and a part of a Clementine.  

         Bedtime: 11:30, Home Alone 2 is going off

         How have I felt today?

         Seriously?  In reference to the challenge, I have felt good.  I know that Kyle will likely chew my ass for I am not eating as much as I should be, however I don’t have an appetite.  My mind is preoccupied, therefore not really feeling the food – however I am excited that tomorrow I’m cooking red meat and that my son comes home from Tennessee! 

         States I am in:  shock, anger, denial, rage, disbelief, betrayal, hurt – pick one. I have noticed that with these shocks and floods of emotion I have actually craved a Camel Crush and a Red Bull today…the Red Bull I understand, however the Camel Crush?  Must be a trigger and a comfort, for when I have been stressed in the past I would smoke.  I didn’t do either – go me!  It’s not worth it and I literally told myself “It’s not worth it, Sawyers.  You will lose your challenge on Day 2, and smoking causes wrinkles.”

         What have I learned today:  I’ve learned that people are understanding and forgiving and I do have two true friends who aren’t shitty, LOL.  My aunt came down to stay with me, and it’s astounding that she doesn’t have children but yet she is so connected to my children, and me it’s amazing.  Her faith gives me hope, her love gives me comfort, and her words give me strength.  Through her encouragement I was reminded I am a strong person and am highly capable of anything; failure is not an option. 

         I was reminded that my children do adore me, and love me so much; it’s the best thing in the world.

Struggles:  Realizing that some people I have been around want nothing more than to tear me down, and my family.  I replaced that quickly with a vow to distance myself from them and honestly say a prayer for them, for they may need to answer their own questions.

45 Minutes of Movement & Power:  Walking and doing step reps were great.  Jamming to my iPod, I got zoned out, and back in my right state of mind.  It’s nice to have a release.